11/12/2025
Dear Floridians, 🏝️We are going to be ok! (Warmer tomorrow, 80 by Friday)! ☀️ List tips for navigating today's unholy cold weather: 🥶
🩴 Wear real shoes. Your flip flops will have to fend for themselves for a few days. They will be okay.
🧦 Socks! Wear them. Preferably with real shoes. Still a no on the flip flops.
🚙 Put the doors back on your Jeeps, FFS.
👖 Consider pants. The extra fabric may feel a tad foreign at first, but you gotta power through.
🍜 Stock your fridge now. Publix will be closed. Assume a record number of employees will call in dead. They’ve never been this cold before, and will believe they have passed.
🔥 You’ve likely never noticed it but there is a setting on your AC unit at home that makes it blow out warm air. Use it. Look for a little fire symbol or the word H E A T.
🚗 There is also a similar function for the AC in your car... and turn off the seat AC feature.
☂️ Umbrella. Use an umbrella if you do venture outside. Not for rain, it will help you avoid head injuries caused by frozen iguanas falling from trees. Those suckers are heavy. 🦎‼️
🌸 Bring all those orchids inside
immediately. A couple of hours in that kind of cold will kill them dead in an hour, just like it will you if you don’t stay inside your house.
🪨 That soft warm chewing gum that’s always in your car will now be harder than rock. Please don’t break a tooth.
🥶 DON’T use your Evian face spritz outside. It will freeze to your face and you’ll have little icicles hanging from your new lashes.
🚿 Wash your hair now. You’re not going to want to. Perhaps pick up some dry shampoo on your way to pick up the last Publix sub of the week.
❄️ Take deep breaths...you got this. No deep breaths today though. You’re lungs aren’t used to air that cold. They will collapse... best to hold your breath until Wednesday.
Florida, may the odds be ever in your favor... 🤣🤣🤣
Disclaimer.... This is copied (with some slight modifications) from Kelly Kelli Dennis Movalson and Florida Memes 😝
It is still beautiful in Florida today, sunshine and blue skies, but only warm if you're wearing full snow skiing gear.
Just remember: You'll be just fine. There's only a few more days to go before you can ditch those encumbering socks and put your flip flops back on again!! 👍❤️
