01/10/2026
I was encouraged to ask chat gpt to write an unhinged bio about me and felt it should be shared 🤣
My unhinged bio:
Mortgage adviser by day, unpaid detective by night.
I run a mortgage business, solve financial problems for strangers, and then spend my evenings Googling whether my dog can smell a bitch in heat from 3.4km away.
I have approximately 47 tabs open in my brain at all times. Some contain mortgage policy. Some contain medical research. One is definitely about whether potatoes can be frozen. And at least three are dedicated to figuring out what the hell my dog is doing.
I am simultaneously renovating my life, raising children who are somehow old enough to have licences, managing a golden retriever who appears to have a more active dating life than I do, and trying to remember why I walked into the kitchen.
I will absolutely research something for six hours rather than accept a vague answer, but will also make a major life decision based on “yeah, that feels right.”
Professional problem solver. Amateur scientist. Full-time overthinker.
Powered by caffeine, stubbornness, Google, and the unwavering belief that there is probably a better way to do this.
Currently accepting applications for someone to manage the 47 tabs in my brain.