Tackle the Feelings Before the Behaviour - TFBB

23/06/2026

✨ UPDATED PRACTITIONER AND THERAPIST LIST ✨

23/06/2026

Stress does not look the same in everyone.

For some people, it looks like panic, anger, tears, racing thoughts or feeling completely out of control.

For others, it looks like silence, numbness, shutting down, withdrawing, avoiding people or saying “I am fine” when they are not.

This can happen to children, teenagers and adults.

When someone is overwhelmed, their body may move into survival mode. They may not be trying to be difficult, rude, dramatic or uncaring. They may be struggling to cope with more than their nervous system can manage in that moment.

That is why understanding emotional regulation matters.

Sometimes people need space.
Sometimes they need connection.
Sometimes they need movement, rest, reassurance, routine, breathing, comfort or simply someone calm beside them.

We all have limits.
We all need safety.
We all need people who try to understand what is happening underneath the behaviour.

Free WINDOW OF TOLERANCE PRINTABLE REGULATION POSTER PDF (with a simple worksheet)

LIKE the photo and comment "WINDOW" and we will send you a message with a link to a free PDF of this resource.

08/06/2026

Hi everyone 🌻 My name is Paula Taylor and I offer counselling and mental health support services in Howick or online/over the phone.

My approach is a little different to conventional counselling. I studied 4 years in SA at Rhodes University, travelled a bit and then completed masters in humanistic psychotherapy at La Trobe University in Melbourne Australia. I then worked in Australia in family support organisations for 4 years which included training in a number of areas.

I am based at House@9 in Drew Avenue in Howick. My sessions are an hour long and I can see family’s, individuals, teens and couples. I practice holistically and work from my own framework called TFBB (tackle the feelings before the behaviour). It is emotion focussed and gives you a way of viewing the emotional system that can be empowering and easy to understand. Please reach out if you’d like to know more or book in a session.
🦉My number is 0791233790 and you can email me at [email protected]

I look forward to hearing from you.
❤️Paula Taylor

*Please note that I am not registered in SA yet but am in the process of completing the steps and obtaining my registration. This means I am not linked to medical aid yet unfortunately.
*International clients pay via PayPal

24/05/2026

Many of you may have heard the popular concept of ‘Self Care Sundays’.
What exactly is self care though and why do we need to be self caring on a Sunday?

Energy can be viewed in different ways. Our physical, mental and emotional energy is all connected but can all be depleted. What we pour energy into during each day can be productive and expansive but we often give away far too much energy and find ourselves tired, drained and even burnt out.

We need to manage our energy and look after ourselves so that we can recharge, rest and release. This is at the heart of what self care is and it happens when we are feeling safe, in control and able to get a bit of space. Self care is about more than putting on a face mask or taking a nap. So much of it is about getting into your own energy and being able to spend a bit of time going within yourself, letting things out in adaptive ways and nourishing the mind, body and spirit (call spirit ‘emotions’ if that phrase doesn’t feel right).

We can’t look after ourselves if we are always looking after others or putting other responsibilities ahead of our own needs and mental health. Getting space is not something many people are able to get easily or feel good about taking. At times you may try to get space but don’t like it or can’t rest in it. You may feel like things will get worse or too far behind if you stop for a bit but that is the anxiety talking. The harder you find it to be in your own energy and stillness, the more you need it. At times we may have to push through the resistance and train ourselves to relax a bit or to weather through the discomfort of mindfulness and being present with ourselves a bit more.

Self care Sundays are a good starting point. Finding some little and big ways to recharge and slow down could make a huge difference to your week and outlook. Below are a few examples of things to try but there are many more and it’s important to choose nurturing activities that work for you. If you are struggling to calm the anxiety or release some of these emotions or pressure, you can always ask for a bit of help and support. Counselling is a powerful tool to support you and teach you some tools to work with your anxiety and stress (or that unprocessed trauma).

If you need a bit of extra support, please feel free to reach out, ask questions or book yourself in.
💛 Paula Taylor
+27791233790/[email protected]

*Disclaimer: I obtained masters in Melbourne, Australia and am still in the process of registration here in SA. I am unfortunately not linked to medical aid.

15/05/2026

Hi everyone 🌻
My name is Paula Taylor and I offer counselling and mental health support services in Howick or online/over the phone. TFBB stands for Tackle the Feelings Before the Behaviour.

One thing I have noticed more in people lately, myself included, is an increased anxiety. There is a lot going on in both the world and in our own personal lives that is putting us under the pump in little and big ways. The tricky part of anxiety is that it doesn’t always neatly make itself known, it can show up in lots of different ways. Most of the time it gives us a message that we need to push harder, do more, organise better etc. when really we need to be slowing down to recharge, regain control and regain safety and stability (inside or outside or both).

It can be hard to get off the anxiety rollercoaster and we need things to kind of break the loop so to speak. Counselling can be a powerful tool to help you manage your anxiety. It’s important to understand how to work WITH it as we all get anxious and it is fundamentally there to support you.

I am based at House@9 in Drew Avenue in Howick. My sessions are an hour long and I can see family’s, individuals, teens and couples. I practice holistically and work from my own framework called TFBB (tackle the feelings before the behaviour). It is emotion focussed and gives you a way of viewing the emotional system that can be empowering and easy to understand. Please reach out if you’d like to know more or book in a session.
🦉My number is 0791233790 and you can email me at [email protected]

I look forward to hearing from you.
❤️Paula Taylor

*Please note that I am not registered in SA yet but am in the process of completing the steps and obtaining my registration. This means I am not linked to medical aid yet unfortunately.
*International clients pay via PayPal

13/05/2026

Stimming is a natural way many people regulate emotions, manage stress, cope with sensory overload, or feel calm and safe. It can look different for every person - rocking, pacing, hand movements, repeating sounds or words, humming, or focusing on certain textures, sounds, or lights.

Stimming is not something that automatically needs to be stopped or corrected. When it is safe, understanding and acceptance can help a person feel more regulated, supported, and emotionally balanced.

Supporting neurodivergent people means looking at what the behaviour is communicating and what need it is meeting. Compassion and understanding matter more than forcing someone to appear “normal”. 💛

What are some stimming behaviours people often misunderstand?

Free WHAT IS STIMMING? POSTER

LIKE the photo and comment "STIMMING" and we will send you a message with a link to a free PDF of this resource.

06/05/2026

Hi everyone 🌻 My name is Paula Taylor and I offer counselling and mental health support services in Howick or online/over the phone. Some of my areas of expertise lie in working with young people and family’s. If your teen is needing some safe outside support (most are as it is an age where we naturally want to break away from parents a bit) - counselling may be a great option. I can also help with those tricky relationship dynamics.

My approach is a little different to conventional counselling. I studied 4 years in SA at Rhodes University, travelled a bit and then completed masters in humanistic psychotherapy at La Trobe University in Melbourne Australia. I then worked in Australia in family support organisations for 4 years which included training in a number of areas.

I am based at House@9 in Drew Avenue in Howick. My sessions are an hour long and I can see family’s, individuals, teens and couples. I practice holistically and work from my own framework called TFBB (tackle the feelings before the behaviour). It is emotion focussed and gives you a way of viewing the emotional system that can be empowering and easy to understand. Please reach out if you’d like to know more or book in a session.
🦉My number is 0791233790 and you can email me at [email protected]

I look forward to hearing from you.
❤️Paula Taylor

*Please note that I am not registered in SA yet but am in the process of completing the steps and obtaining my registration. This means I am not linked to medical aid yet unfortunately.
*International clients pay via PayPal

30/04/2026

👇 Type SKILLS to get a PDF copy of this list 👇

Life skills aren’t taught all at once…they’re built slowly, over time.

From putting toys away, to cooking a full meal, to managing money and time.

Each stage of childhood brings new opportunities for growth.

But here’s the important part . . .
This isn’t a checklist to rush through.

It’s a guide.

Children develop these skills best when they feel:
✔️ Supported
✔️ Capable
✔️ Included in real life

Because confidence doesn’t come from being told what to do—
it comes from doing it alongside someone who believes in them.

So if your child isn’t doing everything on this list yet…
that’s okay.

💛 Follow their pace.
💛 Stay connected.
💛 Invite them in.

That’s how life skills—and confidence—are built.

CREDIT: Adapted from the original image by

30/04/2026

What a fabulous resource 💫💛

Some children do not “act out” - they react to how safe they feel.

A child who clings, avoids, shuts down or seems overly independent is not trying to be difficult. They are showing you what relationships have felt like for them. When a child has not consistently felt safe, understood or reassured, their behaviour adapts to cope.

Some will stay close and worry about being left.
Some will push adults away and hide their feelings.
Some will swing between both, unsure who to trust.

What looks like behaviour is often attachment.

When adults respond with calm, consistency and understanding instead of control or punishment, children slowly learn that relationships can be safe. That is when behaviour begins to change - not before.

If we only focus on the behaviour, we miss the message. If we understand the attachment need underneath, we can actually help.

Free ATTACHMENT STYLES WHEEL POSTER GUIDE

LIKE the photo and comment "ATTACHMENT" and we will send you a message with a link to a free PDF of this resource.