03/13/2023
You Matter.
I was asked recently to reflect on a number of questions about my business and the work that I do. One was, 'What breaks your heart?'
Here is what absolutely breaks my heart as a financial coach:
-When someone doesn't believe that their actions today could positively, radically impact their future life for the better.
-Whey they don't believe that change is possible, that a different future is possible.
-When they think their dreams are impossible.
-When they think, 'This is just the way life is. It's hard.'
-When faced with a decision, they often say 'fu** it,' because it doesn't seem like those small decisions and changes will ever have an impact or amount to anything.
This breaks my heart because of my own experience. I have been there. I remember what it was like when my fixed expenses were only $1300/mo (yes, that's it), and yet I felt horribly hopeless and burdened, as I was not earning much money. Actions I took to pull myself out of the situation felt so futile at first, as I had debt and the money wasn't yet 'piling up.'
However, I wish I could go back in time and tell that younger self what I now know:
"One day, you will not only own your own home, but more than 1. Anything is possible.
-One day, you will learn so much about what it means to charge what you're worth. You could earn anything you set your mind to, if that was important to you.
-One day, you will not only live well below your means, but will never have to stress about taxes, funding your retirement, or paying for vacations with cash.
-One day, you will realize that money is NOT the most important thing... yet... to take care of it is really just one way that you take care of yourself.
-What you DO value- community, family, expansiveness, nature, quality food, etc- all of that translates one way or another into money. Money can simply be viewed as a tool to cast a vote for what matters to you. To cast a vote for the person you wish to become."
You matter- Your health, your stress levels, your work schedule, your relationships, your time off, your interests- it all matters.
If you find yourself hiding from or avoiding money, either in huge ways or little ways, remember that any attention you pay to it is like a little gesture of love to both your current and older self.
Some options for a more qualitative interaction with your relationship to money:
10-minute free-writes:
1) Close your eyes and imagine your 80-year old self, relaxing somewhere and reflecting on life. What would he/she/they wish that you knew now? Put yourself in their shoes and write a letter to your CURRENT self. What wise words and advice would you give them about how to view, respect, nurture, manage, etc., money?
2) Write a love letter to money. (I know, people do not like this prompt). What has money done for you? Provided you with? What experiences have you had? Now, you may have a bunch of negative thoughts immediately come up. Let's say 'money' was a person who was going to die tomorrow- you wouldn't share those negative thoughts:) Instead, focus on what you DO love about it.
My hope today is that if you've been feeling hopeless, perhaps there's a way to make even a small shift in that this week. Thanks for reading as always, -Emily