12/19/2019
"Cyber Bullying"
How It Works, Different Types. What Can You Do
It’s the holidays once more, and children will be home from school (many unsupervised). Unresolved grudges, teasing that is actually harassment, basic attention needs… all can result in anything from hurt feelings to outright fear and loving parents can unwittingly aid and abet these behaviors as they shower their kids with IPhones, IPads and Laptops.
True Story: Several years ago we learned of a family where a classmate of their child was making up to 20 hang up calls in an hour on a daily basis. When the parent of the child on the receiving end, confronted the parent of the perpetrator (corroborated by having a trap put on her phone), the parent of the “perp” was just happy that he admitted it to her and she continued to lovingly bathe the child in whatever goodies he demanded. In this case, the parent did not want to deal with it and the child grew to be even more invasive until the parents of that child, whose family kept getting all those calls, finally pulled their child out of the school to lessen daily contact. The "enfant terrible" grew ended up dying due to his odious behaviors, but not before he’d hurt dozens of classmates and invaded a like number of households.
Moral of the Story: Land based phones are not as prevalent as they once were so you have to BE AWARE OF WHAT YOUR CHILD(REN) IS(ARE) DOING ON THE INTERNET. It’s hard (to impossible) to police children 24/7, but looking at your children’s devices including “in” boxes,, texts and especially deleted messages (many kids still don’t realize there’s a history that can be accessed) are good ways to see if anything untoward is going on.
**Venues of Harassment and Bullying**
- Blogs
- I Phones (IPads, etc.)
- Emails
- Instant Messaging/Text Messaging
- Web Sites
**Forms Of Harassment and Bullyng**
- Cyber Bulling By Proxy (Getting someone else to do the dirty work, perhaps out of fear, probably out of ignorance)
- Sending Threatening Pictures With Promise To Share If Recipient Is Not Compliant
- Stealing Passwords
- Sending Malicious Codes (Viruses, Spyware, Hacking Programs)
- Impersonation – Posing as the victim, making it appear the victim is welcoming unwanted contacts
**What Are Some Tools Parents & Children Have At Their Disposal?""What Can Anyone Do To Lessen or Stop *
- Children should be taught how bullies might operate, using technology, so the very things they use to interact can be morphed into instruments of Cyber-Bullying attacks.
- Children should be taught to NEVER delete anything that makes them uncomfortable, or fearful, so if inappropriate becomes horrifying threats, you have proof of these incidents.
- Children should be taught when they get into an interactive game on the Internet, and suddenly they are talking with a live person on the other end, that person might just NOT be another kid.
- If a child, a parent or guardian should contact the police with saved information that gives the police the ability to more effectively track these perpetrators of destruction.In addition, parents should maintain a log of these events so, if there's a recurring pattern that isn't being resolved, they can go beyond the school to the administration or even legal counsel.
This is NOT a situation where "kids can be kids" can be ignored. These children do grow up and, if behaviors are not nipped in the bud, it can result in tragedy.
Barbara Thompson, RHU - Office Manager
Benefits Unlimited
3131 Custer Drive Suite 3
Lexington, KY 40517
Posted: Thursday, 12/19/2019