08/10/2026
🏡 The Great Housing Mismatch — Maybe We Need to Rethink How We Live
I recently saw this statistic:
Empty nesters own 28% of the nation’s large homes. Millennial families with children own just 16%.
It sounds like a housing problem. But after more than 30 years in the mortgage business, I think it’s much bigger than that.
I see older homeowners living in homes they love and have worked their entire lives to own. Their mortgage may be low—or gone completely. Their friends, doctors, church, routines and support systems are nearby.
So when we say, “Why don’t they just downsize?” it really isn’t that simple.
What many of them need isn’t necessarily another house. They may need help staying in the one they already have—lawn care, maintenance, decluttering, healthcare, transportation or simply companionship.
At the same time, I see young families trying to buy those larger homes.
They’re dealing with today’s mortgage payments PLUS childcare, commuting, food, insurance and all the services we now pay for because there simply aren’t enough hours in the day. A household may earn a very good income and still feel like anything over a $3,500 monthly housing payment is impossible.
Then there is another group we don’t talk about enough:
Parents and grandparents in their 60s and 70s who are still working and using money they planned to retire on to help their adult children and grandchildren.
So maybe we need to stop looking at these as three separate problems.
Maybe part of the answer is multigenerational living.
My family is actually doing it.
We are creating a family compound where generations can live close to one another while still having their own space and independence.
We can eat together. Shop together. Entertain together. Help with the grandchildren. Bring older relatives into the fold so they have companionship. Share responsibilities and expenses that would otherwise be duplicated across several households.
And you don’t need 50 acres to do it.
It can be an accessory dwelling unit. A basement apartment. Two homes on one property. A home designed with separate living quarters. Even two unrelated people who decide that sharing expenses and helping one another makes more sense than each struggling independently.
We spend so much time asking:
How do we make housing more affordable?
How do we help seniors age in place?
How do we solve childcare?
How do we help younger generations build wealth?
How do we combat loneliness?
Maybe some of those problems have the same solution:
We start helping each other again.
That doesn’t mean giving up independence. In fact, thoughtful multigenerational housing can create more independence because people have a support system around them.
But our housing policies need to catch up.
Zoning, ADU restrictions, subdivision requirements and building regulations can make creating these arrangements unnecessarily complicated—even when families own the property and are willing to invest their own money to solve their own housing needs.
And our housing industry needs to think differently, too.
The next generation may not want the same version of homeownership previous generations did. They value convenience. They use technology to eliminate chores and save time. They aren’t afraid of hard work—they simply don’t see the point of doing something the hard way when technology or shared services can do it more efficiently.
Maybe the future of housing isn’t simply building more houses.
Maybe it’s designing better ways for generations to live, support one another and build wealth together.
Sometimes the newest solution is actually a very old idea:
Family helping family. Community helping community. And nobody having to figure everything out alone. ❤️
