09/15/2021
Tonight, I am conflicted with feelings of both devastating grief and awestruck wonderment of God’s amazing faithfulness. As today is my (15-month older) big brother Donnie Huckabay’s 66th birthday. And, as of the writing of this message, his body is starting to prepare for his upcoming journey away from his earthy home that he has know for so long to that of his eternal home in Heaven. It grieves me to know that sometime soon, I will be missing his phone call with a joke, a word of encouragement and his amazing wit and humor that is always guaranteed to fill a room with laughter. I am also amazed that I am fortunate enough to have an older brother to be not only simply be my brother, but to have been my very best friend for my entire life. There has never been a day in my life that I have ever doubted just how much love he has for me, and I for him. And we tell each other so, each time we talk.
When we were little kids, Mom always made Donnie take care of me. As we got older, although Donnie was 2 years ahead of me in school, Donnie insisted that I tag along anywhere he went. Most of Donnie’s school chums became my chums as well. Never did he choose to exclude me when he very easily could have. We were just a package deal. When you have Donnie, you got Ronnie. Also, except for my large family that include 18 or so “Boomer” first cousins, and legions of aunts and uncles, Donnie is the very best “Mostly Unknown” unpublished songwriters that I have ever heard. That includes, Dylan man! I am fortunate to have sung harmonies on several recordings of his amazing compositions. Donnie and I were in Rock bands and Country bands together. Music has always been a strong common bond for me and my three brothers, but for Donnie and me, even more so. We saw the Beatles for the first time together on the Ed Sullivan show, we discovered the Rolling Stones together, The Animals, the Who, Bob Dylan and later Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, George Jones, Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings. Music was our thing, man! Donnie and I made a recording and had a vinyl single printed of a couple of our original music compositions back in the summer of 1971 at Buck Owen’s CBS recording studios, just outside of Bakersfield. The “Buckaroos” Buck’s own band, were the studio musicians that played on the record. Ever since then, my brothers and I have continued to write music to share their thoughts, fears, memories with anyone that might by chance listen.
Tonight, on my brother Donnie’s birthday, I reflect on an old true story that happened, I believe in 1964-1965. Not everyone knows this, but when he was in the 5th grade and I was in the 3rd grade, us two boys and another friend were “hanging out” at a construction site where kids should simply not be playing. We would play king of the hill, tag, and other games kids in those days would play. In this certain play area that we “commandeered”, there was a mound of dirt that towered over the play area that had an undercut below. It soon became our “mission” to chip away at the undercut below the mound and to get on top of the mound and jump up and down in an effort to “cave the mound in” or “topple the hill”. One day while we were at the site and my brother was busy with our play mate, I was busy cutting at and working the undercut below the mound with a spoon that I had taken from home. The spoon was really “doing the trick” in enlarging the hole undercutting the mound. I was sure that on that day I would become the hero that would be responsible for destroying the hill. I was certain that I would soon be regarded as one of the best “hill topplers” of all time! When suddenly, … my world went DARK! All sounds ceased! My breathing ceased! The hill had caved in on me and I was trapped under hundreds of pounds of dirt. They say that one’s life flashes in front of one’s eyes when something like this happens, and they are right! All 8 years of my life went racing by! Things became very quiet, very scarry, but soon; they became very peaceful. Things seemed to be floating in “suspended animation” and a calm warm feeling flowed throughout my little body. I thought of my Mom and my Dad. I thought of my three brothers and my Grandparents. Very quiet, very peaceful.
Then suddenly, I could hear Donnie’s voice yelling Ronnie! Ronnie! Ronnie! Soon I heard scratching and then a light came, and I was quickly able to breathe through my nose. My big brother Donnie had managed to single handedly dig through the avalanche of dirt and find me! He cleared the dirt around my face which allowed me to once again breath. Donnie and our friend finished digging me out, we brushed off our clothes, and we marched home. I do not remember if we ever told my mother what had happened as we would surely have been punished and forever Banned from our favorite play area.
Tonight, I reflect on this story because in Real Terms, for me, Donnie saved me! He really saved my life! We from time to time reflect on that day as a scarry and somewhat scarry childhood memory, but as I have grown much older since that day in the dirt, (I turn 65 this December), I now reflect on the reality that in spiritual terms, yes, Jesus is my Savior as he has saved my soul and I will be spending my eternity in Heaven with my wife, my children, my grandchildren, my Parents, and yes, my brother Donnie because of my salvation, and by no means do I take lightly the sacrifice that Jesus paid for my Salvation. But … without Donnie’s love, his fight, his refusal to give up on me, his clawing and scratching and searching and calling out for me; there would have simply been no more me in today’s Grownup Christian Spiritual sense. Just a lost red-headed 8-year-old little boy.
So, in my attempt to honor my brother Donnie, I have started working on a song that I am entitling “Jesus surely saved my soul, but Donnie saved me first”. I am hopeful to go see my brother in Phoenix early week next week as I am just getting over Covid. I am counting the hours to the time at which I am safe to freely travel to be with Donnie so I can kiss his forehead and hold his hand. If the good Lord tarries, and I pray he does, I hope to see Donnie in Phoenix early Next week.
Donnie, I need you to fight for me one more time to give me a chance to say goodbye to you the way I really want to and need to. I know you can do it! Fight hard brother! I believe in you! You’re the Best Friend any younger brother could have. Thanks for saving me! Be seeing you soon. Love, Ronnie
