03/22/2022
What you can’t see in a phone call with your elderly family member
Here’s a short list of things to watch for when you have elders living alone. Many times, you can’t tell from a telephone conversation the decline in your loved one’s domestic condition. As an example, they may be able to disguise the fact their personal hygiene has deteriorated to a dangerous level over the phone or their food handling skills have become deficient and that might lead to unintended consequences. Keep an eye open for these other telltale signs that “things” might be slipping away.
Mysterious bruising-unexplained injuries, bruising/cuts/scraps could be a result of falling or physical abuse.
Poor Nutrition-As mentioned above, could arise over poor food handling or simply loss of appetite, something as simple as lack of interest in cooking or eating. Has your loved one experienced significant weight loss?
Memory decline can become apparent in many different forms. Have they missed doctor appointments or unannounced absences at social events? Have they become forgetful about what day of the week or month, season, time of day? Repeating verbally their thoughts and confusion can be a signal for dementia or mental illness.
Review their check journal or bank statements. Look for unusual amounts written to numerous charities or people whom you are not familiar with. Be careful and discreet. A very common symptom of dementia is paranoia over one’s finances. “Someone is stealing my money.”
A few other classic traits like, piles of unopened mail, overflowing trash cans (forgot to put it out for collection), outdated foods in the panty and refrigerator, unexplained damage to their vehicle or items in the garage could indicate that maybe their driving privileges need to be curtailed. Let them take you for a drive.
Individually, or a combination of these conditions should make it clear that your aging family members need assistance or need to relocate closer to family for their own safety. These traits don’t usually improve, they just get worse. Tough call, but it needs to be done. A sure-fire proactive remedy would be to make in-person visits more often. Phone calls are nice, but a smile and hug are priceless.
