20/06/2026
I grew up in a family that has always been deeply religious. Faith wasn’t optional — it was woven into everything, especially around death, ritual, and respect for elders.
So when I couldn’t sit through a chant, couldn’t hold focus through a prayer, I didn’t just feel distracted. I questioned myself. Was something wrong with my faith? My character? Why could everyone else around me follow through, and I couldn’t?
Chanting at funerals. Prayers at temple. Even at home. Halfway through every ritual, my mind was already gone. I’d catch myself drifting, pull back in, lose it again minutes later. Not laziness. Not boredom. Something I couldn’t control.
To everyone watching, it looked like disrespect. Checking my phone. Whispering to someone nearby. Restlessness during chanting. And honestly — at times, I knew exactly how it looked. I wasn’t oblivious to it. I just couldn’t stop it.
From the outside: disinterest, maybe even disrespect. From the inside: a brain fighting to stay present, and losing.
I didn’t know it then, but this might never have been about faith at all.
ADHD is linked to lower engagement in structured religious practice — not lower belief. The research shows the struggle isn’t with devotion. It’s with sustaining attention through stillness, repetition, and long ritual. But here’s what’s interesting: when ADHD individuals do stay engaged with faith, it works in their favour. A 2025 study of adults with ADHD found greater religiousness linked to lower symptom severity.
I wasn’t being disrespectful. My brain just couldn’t hold the ritual the way others could. I knew what I felt inside the whole time — trying, caring, losing the thread anyway. The science just gave it a name.
I’m piecing together the science behind ADHD, one behaviour at a time.
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