01/09/2026
On Sunday afternoon I had the sad honour of going to a memorial service for a client of mine.
I showed up not knowing anybody there, really just to sit and listen. As people from her life spoke about their memories of her, I realised I actually did know many of them. We had spent a lot of time talking about the people who were important to her, who were in that room.
When I got up to say a couple of words, I was able to share that. She was very open about her friends and family and her desire to support them. And of course the multitude of banjos they were lamenting that she owned — I was somewhat responsible for encouraging her that she could afford to buy expensive ukuleles from America and go over to pick them up.
Sitting there, it struck me: we start our relationships with clients focusing on the maths, the projections, the goals and the numbers. After a while we end up talking about almost anything else. We become more of a coach than an advisor.
Many of my reviews with this client — and with many others — the numbers are more of a checkin to maintain them. It’s more a discussion about what’s going on in their life. What do they want to do? Have they got the gutters sorted? Have they got the handrail put on? Just being there in their life, knowing what’s going on, often knowing more about them than many other people in their lives, and the lives of those around them, and being their support, against all external forces.
It’s a huge responsibility as an adviser, and one I’m becoming more and more aware of as I work with more clients for longer. It’s a heavy privilege, because sometimes you have to go to their funerals. But ultimately it’s an honour.
