30/09/2024
THE GOAL OF DATING/COURTING IS NOT MARRIAGE.
I've handled many situations when singles who are courting or have been dating for a long time chat me up for counsel.
And when they open up to me, they tell me of what they saw their partner do.
They tell me of some unpleasant things they saw their partners act out. We often call these things red flags.
For some, the things they saw or are seeing are things that will be very destructive to their relationship.
But because they've been courting or dating for a long time, they fix their minds on marriage.
And in fixing their eyes on marriage, they minimise what they see.
And for some, I try to bring to their notice that they need to see what is before them.
And I try to correct this mentality that the goal of courting is not marriage. The goal is vetting.
The goal of long time dating is not first marriage. But vetting.
What does it mean to vet a person? It means to know that person. It means to observe that person. It also means to observe yourself to know if you have found who you're looking for.
It means to check yourself to know if you are happy and fulfilled that you have found a partner.
Vetting is not emotional.
You are to vet each other to know if you guys are good for each other according to God's plan and purpose for each other.
If you focus on marriage and getting married alone, you'll not vet rightly.
But if you focus on vetting, you'll know if that person is good for you and vice versa.
In fact, if you focus on vetting and you alow God lead you to know if that person is good for you, you will know if both of you can work.
Vetting helps you see. It helps you evaluate the other party.
A lot of people have made marriage their goal when they start courting and because of this, even when they see what will destroy them, they choose to get married.
They have made marriage their ultimate goal.
And by doing this, they minimise important details.
ARE YOU DATING RIGHT?.
