10/10/2022
This past 6 months, it was and its still is a challenge for my fam. It was hard for us siblings to move on and what made my heart ache even more is thats my last convo with you, the same day you went.
Really hard to pretend everything will go back to normal and things will get better. I jump back to work thinking i can do dis. . When asked how are you? My auto respond is im good. I buried all my feelings and put on a smile.
No longer enjoy meeting with people and just want to be at home. I couldnt be therr for my fam mentally nor phsyically cos i cant even help myself. I dont feel comfortable talking bout you as each time people ask me bout you, i had to relive the call i receive over and over again.
It took a huge toll on me - so i decided to do somethin bout it. Started to write journal, reading grieving books, engaged with psychologist
App, talk to friends that went thru similar thing, colouring to keep my mind focus and do the things that I used to enjoy such as dancing and meet up with close friends. After a while of being consistent with it, i was able to digest and finally let go the pain. M in the position to be there emotionally, mentally and physically.
I was scare to let go cos i thought it means im forgetting you but i was reassured that you are not forgotten as you will be in my memories.
I learned dat Its okay to ask help and just take the first step even though its scary. That first step will lead to your healing. Dont compare your feelings with others cos everyone has different way to process and has their own duration. Its okay to put yourself first.
This pic signify the first step i took after 3 months to be happy again.
