Untying the Knot

16/10/2026

Most women wait for the decree absolute before they let themselves start rebuilding.

I've watched that waiting cost them months. Sometimes years.

There's a quiet belief that life resumes when the paperwork is signed. That the new chapter only begins on the day a judge says it can. So they put themselves on hold. They wait to think about who they're becoming, what they actually want, where they'd like to live, what work might light them up again. They wait to feel like a person rather than a case file.

In my experience, this is one of the most costly mistakes a woman can make in midlife divorce.

The legal process can take a year. Often longer. If you spend that whole stretch sitting in the waiting room of your own life, you reach the final order exhausted and disoriented, with no sense of where you're headed. The decree changes your legal status. It does not hand you an identity, a routine, or a vision for what comes next.

That's why my Divorce Transition Package starts building an inspiring future from the very first session, not after the final order. We work on the inner clarity and the practical steps alongside the legal process, so that when the paperwork lands, you're already living forward. 🌱

You do not need permission from a court to start rebuilding.

You're allowed to begin now.

14/10/2026

My article: 'the conversation before the conversation' has just gone live.

Helpful if you're on that pendulum of indecision.

Understanding the invisible journey clients take before they ever contact us

14/10/2026

Someone asked her at a barbecue last weekend: "So, have you decided yet?"

She hadn't. She smiled, topped up her glass, and changed the subject.

July is peak social season in the UK. Which makes it peak interrogation season too, for women quietly sitting with the biggest question of their lives. Barbecues. Family lunches. School pick-ups. Holidays with in-laws who "just want to understand what's going on."

And everywhere you turn, "I don't know yet" gets treated like a failure of nerve. As if uncertainty is something to be fixed with one more piece of well-meaning advice.

It isn't. In my experience, the women who make the clearest, steadiest decisions are the ones who let themselves not know first. Who stop performing certainty for everyone around them. Who give the question the time it actually deserves.

So if you're mid-process this summer, here is your permission slip. You are allowed to say:

>> I'm still working through what I want.
>> I don't have an answer for you right now.
>> This isn't a decision I'm making on anyone else's timeline.
>> I'm not ready to talk about it, and that's okay.

The hardest part isn't admitting it to yourself. It's saying it out loud to the person across the table who thinks they're helping. You can do both. Quietly. On your own timeline.

That's exactly the space my Maybe to Clarity programme and Decision Package were built to hold. Room to sit with the question properly, so the answer, when it comes, is yours. 🍃

13/10/2026

Hi everyone

Just wanted you to know,
I'm hosting a FREE, informal LIVE Q&A tonight (8–9pm) for anyone navigating that difficult "Should I stay or should I leave?" question.

You're very welcome to join me.

*Bring one question you'd love answered, ask it out loud or if you prefer pop it in the chat.

*Cameras can stay off, there's no recording, and you're equally welcome to just sit back and listen.

Hearing other people's questions may remind us we're not alone in this.

Tonight, Tuesday 13th October | 8pm UK

Join Zoom:
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/83391042285?pwd=0RpdUCxAmCsEGKBcia5JkqwH8Lh7M3.1

Meeting ID: 833 9104 2285
Passcode: 485968

Just a supportive space to find a little more clarity.

Would love to see you there if you can manage it.

Jen x

11/10/2026

Over the past few months, hundreds of you have joined my Should I Stay or Should I Leave My Marriage? webinars.

One thing has become very clear…

You have questions. Lots of them!

Questions about your marriage, your future, your finances, your children, your fears, and what life might look like if you stay… or if you leave.

Whilst I've answered many during my webinars, I know there are so many more.

So I've decided to do something a little different.

I'm opening up my Zoom room for a special FREE, LIVE, ONE-HOUR Q&A, dedicated entirely to YOUR questions.

Tuesday 13th October | 8pm (UK time) | 3pm (Eastern Time)

No slides. No presentation. No lengthy introductions.

Just you, me, and the questions that matter most to you.

Perhaps you're wondering:

How do I know whether my marriage is going through a rough patch or whether something has fundamentally changed?

What if I know I'm unhappy but I'm terrified of making the wrong decision?

How do I even begin to think about leaving when finances, children and a lifetime together are involved?

What if I stay and nothing changes?

What if I leave and regret it?

Or perhaps your question is something completely different.

This is your opportunity to ask it.

I'll be answering as many questions as I can during our hour together, offering practical insights, a different perspective and perhaps that one thought that helps you see your situation a little more clearly.

You don't need to have your camera on. You don't even need to speak if you'd rather not. You can simply listen, reflect and take away whatever feels useful to you.

Here's something I've learnt from working with so many women facing this decision:

Sometimes the question someone else asks is the very question you've been struggling to put into words.

So whether you've attended one of my webinars recently, joined me during the summer, or have been quietly following along, I'd love to welcome you.

Tuesday 13th October, 8pm – 9pm (UK) | 3pm - 4pm (ET)

Join me here:

Topic: Your Questions Answered — Live with Jennie
Time: Oct 13, 2026 08:00 PM London

Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/83391042285?pwd=0RpdUCxAmCsEGKBcia5JkqwH8Lh7M3.1

Meeting ID: 833 9104 2285
Passcode: 485968

Pop it in your diary, bring your questions, make yourself a cuppa, and come along.

I look forward to seeing you there.

Hugs

Jen x

Founder, Untying the Knot

Relationship, Divorce and Courtroom Coach

Finding the end to make a new beginning.

09/10/2026

Most women who come to me say the same thing: "I don't know what I want."

In my experience, that is almost never true.

The clarity is already there. It has been there for months, sometimes years. What is sitting on top of it is fear. And fear is excellent at disguising itself as confusion.

Fear of financial instability. Fear of being alone at 52. Fear of what your sister, your mother, your friends will think. Fear of dismantling a life that looks perfectly fine from the outside.

The indecision is rarely about the decision. It is about the consequences of acting on what you already know.

This is why "should I stay or should I go?" is the wrong question to wrestle with at 3am. It has no answer, because you are not actually asking it. The real question underneath is quieter and more specific: What am I actually afraid of?

That one you can work with. You can name it, size it, and start to build around it. You can look at the money. You can look at the logistics. You can look at the version of yourself who has been quietly waiting.

The fog is not a sign you are not ready. It is a sign you have not yet felt safe enough to act on what you already know.

That is the work. That is what the Decision Package and the Maybe to Clarity programme exist to do. Steady ground under your feet while you stop manufacturing certainty and start naming what is really there.

You are not confused. You are scared. And that is a much more honest place to begin. 🍃

07/10/2026

"I don't know who I am anymore."

I hear this from women in their first session more than almost any other sentence. And it's usually said with a kind of quiet shame, as if they've misplaced something they should have kept track of.

But you didn't lose yourself. You buried yourself.

There's a difference, and it matters. Losing implies something is gone. Buried means it's still there, underneath the layers you took on over fifteen, twenty, thirty years. Wife. Mother. Carer. The one who remembers the dentist appointments. The one who holds it all together.

None of those roles were wrong. But each one added a layer. And somewhere along the way, the layers became the whole picture. It didn't happen overnight. It happened in small increments. A preference set aside. A need unvoiced. A version of you that quietly shrank to make room for everyone else.

The woman at the centre was never removed. She was covered.

Which means the work isn't about becoming someone new. It's about removing layers until you reach the part of you that was there all along. Awareness is the first layer. The rest follow 🍃

05/10/2026

A good divorce is not the absence of conflict. It is the presence of a clear decision.

That is the line I keep coming back to after years of walking women through this. We tend to use "good divorce" as shorthand for amicable. Polite emails. Civil handovers. No raised voices in the solicitor's office.

Those things are lovely when they happen. But they are not what makes a divorce go well.

What actually makes the difference is the work that happens before the paperwork. Most women I meet are already three tabs deep into solicitor research before they have answered the harder question underneath it: what life am I actually trying to build on the other side of this?

The legal process moves fast. Emotional readiness rarely keeps pace. That gap is where the expensive rework lives. Terms accepted that do not fit. Settlements revisited. Decisions made in a fog that has to be cleaned up later, when the paperwork is already permanent.

In my recent podcast conversation with the family law team at Brodies, we talked about this exact sequencing. Clarity before process. Groundwork before negotiation. Knowing your own non-negotiables before you walk into a room where someone asks you to name them.

The process is learnable. The clarity is the work that makes it stick.

Swipe through for the three things a good divorce actually requires. 🍃

02/10/2026

Routine is a very good liar.

During term time, the school runs and the work calendars fill every silence. You are both too busy to notice the distance between you. The diary does the heavy lifting, and the marriage looks fine from the outside. Sometimes even from the inside.

Then the holiday arrives. Two weeks of unstructured time together, with no meetings to duck into and no logistics to hide behind. And suddenly you can feel it. The quiet at breakfast. The way conversation has to be manufactured. The small relief when one of you leaves the room.

The discomfort you feel in July has been there all year. Summer just stopped covering for it.

This is what I call a Clarity Crucible. Not a crisis. A moment when the scaffolding falls away and you finally see what was underneath. It is uncomfortable, and it is also useful information.

Noticing it is not the same as knowing what to do with it. That part takes a different kind of clarity, and it rarely arrives in the middle of a family holiday.

If this summer is quietly telling you something, you do not have to decide anything today. You just have to stop pretending you didn't hear it. 🌿

28/09/2026

Most women leave their first solicitor meeting with more questions than they walked in with. And they say nothing.

I've sat beside enough women as their McKenzie Friend to know exactly what happens in that room. The solicitor uses a phrase you don't quite follow. You nod. They suggest an approach you're unsure about. You nod again. The clock is ticking, the bill is climbing, and you don't want to seem difficult.

So you leave with a folder full of paperwork and a stomach full of doubt.

Here's what I want you to carry into the next meeting: you are allowed to ask. You are paying for clarity, not performance. A good solicitor will welcome every one of these questions.

>> Can you explain that in plain English, please?
>> What does this cost, and when will I be billed?
>> I need a few days before I sign anything.
>> What happens if I don't agree with this approach?
>> Can you walk me through every option, not just the one you recommend?
>> I want a second opinion before we proceed.

That last one is the hardest to say out loud. It feels confrontational. It isn't. It's the question of a woman who knows this decision will shape the next decade of her life, and who refuses to hand it over on autopilot.

Your solicitor is the expert in the law. You are the expert in your life. Both seats matter at that table.

If you're starting to research solicitors this summer, take this list with you. 🌿