04/06/2026
How we pulled this party off, I will never know.
I remember Damian being adamant that I had to book Scarlett a birthday party that year. If I'm honest, I wasn't thrilled about it at the time because I knew there was already so much to juggle and organise with his operation coming up.
What I never imagined was that I'd be juggling a 9th birthday party and planning a funeral at the same time.
When the time came, Scarlett was given the choice. Did she still want her party to go ahead? Her answer was yes.
So that's exactly what we did.
I will be forever grateful to everyone who helped make that day happen. Looking back, I honestly don't know how we got through those weeks.
Sometimes, when I doubt myself, I think back to those three weeks and remind myself: "You did all that... you can do anything."
Because behind the scenes there was so much more happening than anyone could see.
There were conversations with the coroner and learning we needed a post-mortem. There was meeting the funeral director on what should have been our 13th wedding anniversary. There was planning a funeral, wondering how on earth Scarlett and I were going to survive financially, trying to be a mum, organising a birthday party, and then somehow finding the strength to "celebrate" my little girl's birthday.
When I look back now, it feels absolutely mind-blowing.
But I think it's proof that when life gives you no choice, you somehow find strength you never knew you had. Not because you want to be strong, but because the people you love need you to be.
And somehow, through the heartbreak, we still made it. We still found moments to smile. And we got through it, one hour, one minute, one breath at a time. 💚
