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Tips“I would do this if I were you…” “Do you know what you need to do?” “Believe my experience, you should…” When it see...
25/06/2022

Tips
“I would do this if I were you…” “Do you know what you need to do?” “Believe my experience, you should…” When it seems to us that we know the solution to the problem, it is very tempting to immediately offer it: the interlocutor will follow the advice, the situation will be resolved, and there will be nothing to worry about.

The trap is that when we are overwhelmed with emotions, we are not able to perceive the most practical recommendations.

And if the advice came at the moment of an emotional peak, the chance that the interlocutor will get angry or give up on you is great. Moreover, advice is only good if it is asked for directly. Usually, we are quite capable of resolving the situation on our own, as soon as the excitement and sadness recede.

WHAT DOES NOT CONSIDER SUPPORT1. Denial of feelingsOften, when we want to comfort someone, our automatic response contai...
25/06/2022

WHAT DOES NOT CONSIDER SUPPORT
1. Denial of feelings
Often, when we want to comfort someone, our automatic response contains the message, “You shouldn't feel this way. Don't be so upset! It's not the end of the world! How can you feel unhappy - you have a great job, a loving husband and a wonderful child. What's the point of worrying so much, it's better to look at the world with a smile, and everything will be fine!

Sometimes it's hard for us to put ourselves in the place of another. It seems that the problem is far-fetched, we ourselves would never have done this, our difficulties are many times greater than the problems of the “complaintant”. Offering not to feel so intense and switching to the positive seems like a simple solution. But we cannot control emotions by turning off some and turning on others. So, no matter how stupid the interlocutor's reaction to the problem may seem to us, he really feels and sees in this way what he needs now - recognition of what is happening to him.

REAL SUPPORTWhat is real support? What can and cannot be done to make others or ourselves feel better? To understand thi...
24/06/2022

REAL SUPPORT
What is real support? What can and cannot be done to make others or ourselves feel better? To understand this, let's try to imagine ourselves in their place. At what point does this happen?

Usually we turn to another person when we are having difficulty coping with feelings. Something happened, unsettled us, caused confusion, resentment, disappointment or anxiety. Emotions that overwhelm us make it difficult to see the solution and in themselves cause discomfort. What we need at this moment is understanding and participation. We feel supported when the other sincerely tries to understand what is happening to us and why, “get into our slippers”, and does this with sympathy and interest. How to learn it?

BE HERE AND NOWThe ability to be here and now is directly related to the ability to enjoy the little things and the abil...
24/06/2022

BE HERE AND NOW
The ability to be here and now is directly related to the ability to enjoy the little things and the ability to free yourself. In addition, the ability to be here and now is similar to the state of flow, about which the American psychologist of Hungarian origin Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote a lot. Flow or “being here and now” is a state when a person is so involved in his activity that everything else loses significance for him. He finds pleasure in work, and it becomes not a means to an end, but an end in itself. That is, you work not to earn money for a living, but because you get pleasure from it, fulfill yourself, achieve your goals and make the world a better place. “So play music even when no one is listening to you. Paint pictures even when no one is looking at them. Write a story that no one will read. Inner joy and satisfaction will be more than enough for you to continue to live and do your job. If you succeed in this, then you have fully mastered the ability to be here and now, ”advises the author of the book.

And it is also important to understand that “there is no single optimal path to ikigai. Each of us must find our own way, making our way through the jungle of our unique qualities.

JOY IN SMALL THINGS“Many people in Japan traditionally start the morning with sweets, usually washed down with green tea...
23/06/2022

JOY IN SMALL THINGS
“Many people in Japan traditionally start the morning with sweets, usually washed down with green tea, although in recent years they are increasingly replacing it with coffee or black tea,” says Ken Mogu. “That also makes sense.

No matter where you are in the world, get in the habit of eating your favorite treats after waking up. Dopamine will then be released in your brain, pushing you into action (getting up), followed by a reward (like chocolate and coffee).”

Happiness lies not only in something big (success, serving a great cause) and material (a good salary and a big house). Everyday happiness consists of little things: a delicious breakfast, a sunny morning, the opportunity to go to a child's school concert or an evening bike ride. Mentally note the things that give you pleasure, rejoice in them and be grateful to fate for these little things.

GET HARMONY AND STABILITY“Ikigai in Japanese culture has a lot to do with harmony with the environment, with the people ...
23/06/2022

GET HARMONY AND STABILITY
“Ikigai in Japanese culture has a lot to do with harmony with the environment, with the people around us and with society as a whole, without which sustainability is impossible,” explains Ken Mogi.

Personal ambitions are always satisfied with an eye to the state of society and the environment. After all, if they are not healthy, you will not be able to achieve your goals and realize your plans. In other words, you can go to your dream only by remembering other people, nature and the world around you. It is impossible to gain ikigai by hurting them.

07/06/2022

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