09/03/2017
These Five Words Are Killing Your Personal Brand
We have all been in a meeting or on the phone with someone we really respect and heard the overused phrase “I’ll be honest with you”. The phrase invokes a mental response that is awkward at best, deal killing at worst. Why do people say, “I’ll be honest with you”, or “Can I be honest with you”? Perhaps no one has told them that saying this makes anyone listening think, “were you not being honest in the first place”? In truth, what many people I think are trying to say is probably: “May I be candid or direct with you?” After all, nearly everyone can forgive someone for not being too direct or candid but if people feel someone is dishonest or wasn’t entirely truthful, that’s a deal killing statement.
Since you probably have friends, business acquaintances, and others who use this phrase it’s probably crossed your mind a few times on whether you should bring this up to them. I can tell you that the answer depends on your comfort level with providing authentic feedback. I am forever grateful to a VP at a financial services firm I worked at who very bluntly pulled me aside after a presentation I gave and said something along these lines Alex I love the presentation- content, pace and material were spot on but rephrase the “I’ll be honest with you” fillers as the entire audience cringes. Be forewarned this knowledge is like good grammar: once you understand and agree it makes sense, hearing others violate these core teachings will sound like someone using their nails on the chalkboard. You know, like when you hear a supervisor say, I should have went or when a work colleague uses a double negative-it don’t mean nothing to me!
So do your team, friends, and family a favor and correct them when they say, “I’ll be honest with you”. In the meantime, please don’t also forget your mother for being strict and reinforcing the rules of grammar, etiquette and manners throughout your life.
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