26/08/2026
When people say that two become one flesh and one soul, the picture that comes with it is usually two halves fitting together into a single circle. After more than ten years with Kristýna, I think that picture is wrong.
Twenty years ago we could not have valued each other the way we do now. At that age you go looking, without quite knowing it, for someone to fill the empty places in you. The other half, the one who supplies the safety, the worth, the passion or the inspiration you cannot find on your own.
A relationship built on completion is fragile. It is two incomplete people, each demanding that the other play a part inside their inner world. The man asks the woman to be his living anima, his soul and his creativity. The woman asks the man for structure and direction, for the animus. While that lasts you are not loving the other person. You are loving your own projection wearing their face.
To get where we are now, both of us had to grow up. Growing up, in the Jungian sense, means withdrawing your projections and starting work on your own shadow.
I had to find and accept the feminine in myself, my own sensitivity and my own creativity. Kristýna had to integrate her inner man, her own strength and her own autonomy. Each of us had to go through the bag we had been dragging since childhood, the one where rejected feelings, injuries and fears get put away.
We are not two halves of one circle. We are two wholes.
The relationship no longer rests on needing something from each other in order to survive. It rests on choosing to share what is already whole. And when two whole people meet like that, a third thing appears. A space that exceeds us both and is larger than the sum of the parts.
What pleases me most after all these years is not the peace. It is that we are still ripening. We are teachers and guides to each other, and we have kept the willingness to take help, advice and criticism from the other. That last one is the hardest and the most valuable. Alongside it we are closest friends, partners, and each other's only lovers.
Thank you, Kristýna, for the years of growing up together, for the patience, and for the courage to hold the mirror.