04/02/2019
I have lamented openly and consistently that separation and divorce is not a legal issue, but instead a social and relationship issue with some legal aspects within - what I see as being far more important than legal advice by lawyers is support and coaching for parents to help them with the incredibly difficult transition from a spousal relationship to a co-parenting relationship, creating self awareness about relationship dynamics and establishing some effective and meaningful communication. None of this desperately needed work can be performed by people only trained in the law and it certainly cannot be found within a courtroom. I help people separate and divorce outside of courtrooms for exactly these reasons.
This article highlights the challenges and sheds some light on alternative ways for us to view how people who are separating or divorcing should access help through this tremendously deep life transition.
"In fact, we should consider removing family law matters from the courts altogether. These are disputes that could be moved into a specialized administrative system offering both adversarial and non-adversarial dispute resolution alongside: education on parenting after separation, child development and conflict management; social services providing parenting, housing and employment support; and financial and mental health counselling, parenting assessments and similar services. Such an administrative system should be interdisciplinary and explicitly aimed at promoting the well-being of children, reducing conflict and promoting parents’ ability to cooperate with each other. Its rules, policies and forms should be written in plain language and be tailored to the unique needs of families living apart; the rules of evidence and stare decisis should be simplified; and the extent of the adversarial and non-adversarial processes provided by the tribunal and the commission should be genuinely proportionate to the circumstances of each family, and the importance, complexity and value of the issues in each dispute."
Deep structural problems persist in how our justice system handles family disputes. We need to think seriously about a complete overhaul.
