29/07/2025
Interesting insights from this post. Dont be an ACCOUNTANT just good with books and studying without been about to produce results.
HOW A FANCY ACCOUNTANT NEARLY KILLED MY BUSINESS
Every entrepreneur in Lusaka has a story about a bad hire. But my bad hire wasn't just bad; he was a walking, talking disaster dressed in a shiny suit. He nearly sent my logistics company back to the village on a bus.
Let me introduce you to Chilufya, the accountant who spoke in graphs but couldn't pay a ZRA bill to save his life.
The Rise Before the Fall
My company was doing well. We were moving maize from Chisamba, copper cathodes from the Copperbelt, and everything in between. Money was flowing in. The problem? It was also flowing out like the Zambezi in rainy season, and I couldn't track it. My system was basically a drawer full of receipts and hope.
I knew I needed a professional. So I put out an ad.
First, I interviewed a quiet woman who asked to see my last six months of bank statements on the spot. She looked at my receipt drawer and almost fainted. She was too serious.
Then Chilufya walked in.
This guy was smooth. He didn’t ask for old records; he talked about the future. He used words like "financial modelling," "leveraging assets," and "optimizing our EBITDA." I didn't know what EBITDA was, but it sounded like something that would make me rich. His CV said he had "revolutionized" three other companies.
I hired him on the spot. He was my guy. My key to the next level.
The PowerPoint and Jargon Phase
For the first three months, I felt like a real CEO. Chilufya would produce these beautiful monthly reports with colourful pie charts and graphs that always went up.
"Boss," he'd say, pointing at a green line, "our revenue projection is on an exponential trajectory."
I'd nod seriously, feeling very important. He convinced me we needed to upgrade the office furniture to "reflect our new brand status." We even bought a fancy coffee machine. We were a serious company now.
Then, the small phone calls started.
"Bwalya, it's your supplier from Ndola. Where is our payment?"
I'd ask Chilufya. "Ah, Boss," he'd sigh, "that's a strategic delay. We're managing our working capital. It's textbook." It sounded so clever that I believed him.
Then an employee came to my office. "Ba Boss, my NAPSA contributions for the last two months are not reflecting."
Chilufya's explanation? "NAPSA's online portal has a system lag. It will update soon." Again, so confident. So reassuring.
When the "Trajectory" Hit a Wall
The big one came on a Tuesday. Our main fuel supplier, the one who kept our trucks on the road, called me directly.
"Bwalya, no more excuses. Your account is frozen until the outstanding balance is cleared."
Suddenly, my entire fleet of 15 trucks was parked. No fuel. No business.
As I was panicking, a courier delivered a thick brown envelope. It was from ZRA. The words "FINAL DEMAND" were in red. They were talking about penalties that could buy a plot in Ibex Hill.
I stormed into Chilufya's office. He was busy designing a new chart for his next report.
"Chilufya! What is this?!" I yelled, throwing the ZRA letter on his desk.
He started to sweat for the first time. "Boss, it's a... it's a temporary liquidity challenge... a slight market fluctuation..."
"Show me the bank account! Show me the ZRA payment receipts! Now!"
He fumbled. He mumbled. He couldn't produce a single proof of payment for the last quarter's VAT. He had been paying for new desks and lattes, but not the taxman. He was an expert at making things look good on a PowerPoint slide, but he had forgotten to actually do the work.
He hadn't "strategically delayed" payments; he had just not made them. The numbers in his fancy reports were not real. They were hopes and dreams drawn in Microsoft Excel.
The Painful Lesson
I had to fire him, of course.
My next call was to that quiet, serious woman I didn't hire. I had to beg her to come and clean up the mess. She charged me double her initial fee, and honestly, she deserved triple.
It took her three weeks to untangle Chilufya’s "financial modelling." We had to take out an expensive loan to pay ZRA and our suppliers. It set the business back a full year.
To Every Business Owner Reading This:
Are you being charmed by big words and fancy suits? Do your accountant's reports look too good to be true?
Let me tell you something for free: ZRA does not accept pie charts as payment. NAPSA doesn't care about your "brand status." And your suppliers just want their money, not a lecture on "working capital."
Your accountant's job isn't to make you feel good; it's to keep your business financially healthy and compliant.
Two Tips to Avoid a "Chilufya" Disaster
Hire for Details, Not for Dazzle: The best finance person isn't the smoothest talker. It's the one who asks the tough questions, demands receipts, and isn't afraid to tell you that you can't afford a new coffee machine.
Inspect What You Expect: Don't just look at summary reports. Ask to see the real bank statements. Log into your ZRA and NAPSA accounts yourself. Trust your accountant, but verify their work. You are the captain of the ship.
Final Word:
A bad accountant is more dangerous than a bad economy. One makes you struggle; the other can shut you down for good.
Don't wait for the brown envelope from ZRA to arrive. Get your books in order.
