24/01/2021
(be sure to read)
Where does parenting end and autonomy begin?
Independence, is what im basically referring to. Because, the coloured community (and this is all I can speak for) has some ideology about what determines independence and maturity and as a woman in her late 20's bordering 30 it's abit annoying to have surpassed the goals she has set for herself in terms of education and someone who managed to raise a son despite various circumstances I think it is only fair that I identify my own way forward.
But
In the so-called coloured household your achievements are only means of financial gain within the household,
I mean, when did paying back your parents for choosing to have you and raise you become a thing? I'm not saying that helping out is wrong and neither am I saying that being grateful and therefore assisting where needed is wrong but for them to be entirely reliant on you is abit far-fetched. Another thing is being told that the steps you have chosen to take in your life is never truly satisfactory: wrong institution to study, wrong subjects, wrong partner, wrong lifestyle, wrong means of dressing, wrong emotional outlet and the list continues...
Not exactly autonomy at its best hey...
So what is it? Is my entire life supposed to be a chartered course that parents have set out or is me striving for autonomy always going to look like rebellion.
Asking for a friend.