N Yo Ace Inc Corp

06/08/2017

Looking for ways to push your emerging technology business ahead of the rest?

Cloud computing is all the rage nowadays. Is your company prepared for all of the challenges of doing business in the cloud?

We at N-Yo-Ace Inc Corp realize the need to reach out to our loyal and unwillingly charitable business partners like yourself, to ensure that you are securely protected from any negative effects from what happens in the cloud.

N-Yo-Ace Inc Corp presents: "N-Yo-Ace Inc Corp Fog Glasses and Cloud Blanket"

Yes that's true, we are featuring our two most popular cloud security features together in one package!

First up is our world famous Fog Glasses, which are similar to goggles a swimmer would wear, except you wear them while not swimming and the goggles are swimming goggles but repackaged with our brand name and different pictures (instruction manual sold separately). These ensure that if a cloud comes low enough to form fog, you won't get the cloud into your eyes.

The other is "Cloud Blanket" which is a 3x3ft blanket. We recommend ordering enough blankets to fully cover your building, to ensure that clouds cannot get inside. In fact, we recommend it so strongly that we will make sure you have enough blankets by auto-multiplying the amount you ordered by 1,000.

This is a two feature for one package deal, which means that there will be two charges, one for each feature and then a third separate charge for the package. If you wish, we can combine all of the charges into one larger charge. This will require an additional charge which cannot be combined with other charges. Local taxes apply, and there will be a separate charge on top of each tax. When we receive all of your payments, we will send a separate bill which contains a fee for processing the previous payment. Once all payments are made, we'll contact you via collect call from an international number with instructions on how to make more payments.

*Fog Glasses not guaranteed to work at high elevations, or low ones either. We do not suggest using these above sea level.

**The glasses are made out of glass which may or may not have sharp cracked edges. We do not recommend wearing them if your eyes are susceptible to cuts or are still bleeding from our other eyewear safety products.

***These glasses are 100% guaranteed not to cause your eyes to bleed. If you feel that your eyes are stabbed and/or bleeding from our glasses, we will fully refund half of one of the payments provided that you can give proof that your eyes were bleeding. Please send the eyes in a specific "proof examination" box that we will send after receiving your refund processing fee four times.

****Blankets are hypoallergenic to people without allergies but we do not recommend breathing near them.

Order now! Companies are moving to the cloud so quick and you don't want to be left behind! YOUR BUSINESS IS RUNNING ON OLD TECHNOLOGY AND IS IMPORTANT TO US!

01/18/2016

Tax season got you down? Too difficult for you? Don't know how to click on a few buttons online? Don't even know what site to go to because you aren't smart enough to use google? Well, we can do all that easy stuff but we have a better solution for you, something way easier than a simple web search!

We at N-Yo-Ace Tax Services Inc Corp pride ourselves on name brand recognition as well as how many people recognize our brand's name. This is especially relevant at tax time. Our competitors, "H&R Block" (who is H or R?), "Jackson Hewitt" (Is Hewitt the same H in H&R? I smell fraud), "Turbo Tax" (is the "R" in Turbo the same R in H&R? fraud fraud fraud!).
Why go with any of those companies? None of them have "Corp" or "Inc" in their names. We have both! Not only is name brand recognition something we're incredibly proud of, we also are proud of our customers' responses to our name. Here are some testimonials from customers who will remain nameless as to not get targeted by the IRS:
Customer 1: "The tax services were pretty much the same or a lot worse than other companies, except we really just are in love with their name!"
Customer 2: "I was jobless and homeless and now thanks to N Yo Ace Tax Services Inc Corp, I'm also penniless, shirtless, and I have multiple warrants for my arrest. Love the name!"
Customer 3: "I'm going to name my first born child "N Yo Ace Tax Services Inc Corp", but not until they give me appropriate trademark and copyright exceptions which will cost me more than I can possibly ever afford, plus all of my child's future earnings. Probably not worth it. Well, maybe."

Are those testimonials from verified customers not enough for you? We'll sweeten the deal. After you pay the initial undetermined surprise fee and sign the contract which ensures transfer of all of your future tax returns and paychecks to an overseas account of our choice, we will transfer ownership of our company name to you, and change ours to something else (most likely Swiss). You too can be a CEO!

Hurry! Don't take too long to figure out our scam or else we might not be able to afford our yachts and vacation homes! We at N-Yo-Ace Inc Corp care about your livelihood and financial security.

*We have very little knowledge of United States or any other country's tax codes.

**It's very possible that this was written by a temp from a temp agency that another one of our temps called and we can't be held liable for anything written here.

***N-Yo-Ace Inc Corp is not accepting new employees, temporary or otherwise. This is not a scam.

12/02/2013

For Cyber Monday, N-Yo-Ace-Inc-Corp is offering a deal so hot that you might actually burn up if you try to walk into our burning warehouse to pick up your products which may or may not have been torched!

We are liquidating our warehouse tonight at 11pm promptly. We will not be giving out our address but we will be sending a giant smoke signal to notify our law abiding customers of our whereabouts. To participate in our cyber monday clearance sale, first message us your e-signature with a note granting us your intention to give us power of attorney over all of your affairs, sexually and non sexually, and of course anything involving or not involving monetary transactions. Also you must "sext" us any photos of hot females in your family (9's or above only) in compromising positions and with as little amount of clothes as possible to remain legal. After we receive your information, you should ensure that your transactions have gone through properly by logging into your online bank accounts to verify that your balances have shrunk to zero and your credit cards have been maxed out. You might also find some of your statements say "overdrawn" on them, don't worry that's normal and we'll fix that with our next sale.

At that point, you should follow the smoke signal in the sky which will lead you to our still undisclosed Public Storage locker which may or may not be burning and containing paper trails of receipts, balance sheets, tax forms and other evidence that could probably have our fingerprints on them.

If you are the lucky customer to choose the correct spec of ash out of a pile of ash that will hopefully be inside of the storage locker at that point, you will win the grand prize!

At N Yo Ace Inc Corp we do not take chances with our product and always make sure that the customer and anything incriminating is taken care of.

See you tonight!

*N Yo Ace Inc Corp reserves the right to not give a prize if the correct ash is chosen.

**there are no prizes

02/03/2010

N Yo Ace's sister company (N Yo Ace Lil Sis) now offering a preview of some video games soon to be released. If you are interested in purchasing, please purchase an IOP (interest of purchase) through us and we will notify you that they are unavailable. IOP's can be paid for with SSN's, PIN's, or DD's. Check this youtube link for details.

COMING SOON

11/10/2009

09/26/2009

Have you ever misplaced the handy little recording device that reminds you where your car is...your keys....etc....well now have that peace of mind knowing that you will never lose it AGAIN! We at N Yo are introducing The R.F.R 6000 ( Recorder Finding Recorder) and the best part is there is No monthly installment NO payment plans JUST a 1 time lump transfer of your 401k or any other retirement product and it's yours !!! Call now while supplies last!

09/05/2009

has misplaced a few decimals on your recent statements. If you'd like them back, please send us 20 monthly payments over the next 3 weeks of your missed decimal statement for each decimal that you'd like back. We promise the best for our loyal customers.

07/17/2009

Remember. The road to success can't be found without a map. We sell that map. Contact us for details.