01/19/2026
It's so crazy what pain and sickness will do to your brain and how it will effect every single thing in your life. When I was prepping for my mastectomy, I had a timeline of recovery in my mind. The doctors told me a timeline and I was set on that timeline. I even thought, "shoot, I will be better even faster than their timeline." How cocky and ignorant of me. So many things in my life have knocked me down and I've always gotten up and bounced back even harder. This was different! The timeline for recovery was longer than anyone could have imagined. 6 months! 6 whole entire months it took me to recover. Longer than even people who had way more intense surgeries...way more serious cases...way more aggressive plans of action. I had one setback after another...constant pain...constant reactions...constant tearing. My brain could not function. I am very intelligent and all of a sudden I found myself unable to make decisions, unable to think, unable to do, unable to bounce back, unable to heal, unable to recover, unable to function. My body was different. My mind was different. My existence was different. I would look at myself in the mirror and just cry. Who was this starring back at me? Why don't I know her? Why don't I recognize her? Why is she not bouncing back? I've ALWAYS had a hustle mentality. Go, go, go, GO! Now, I found myself unable to even go a little. I was on my reclining couch watching Rom-Com after Rom-Com after Rom-Com and all 15 seasons of Supernatural. I was here wondering how I had pushed away everyone who ever loved me because I was too busy always working. Now, I sat here alone with just my walls, Rucker, and Shyla Hope. Then, Shyla Hope passed away. This destroyed my frail mind even more. So now it was these walls and Rucker. How had my life become this? I honestly didn't know who I was without work and without the hustle. All in the midst of this pain, turmoil, horrible recovery, loss, and confusion, my parent company changed. I honestly couldn't even think about that. I couldn't process that they had just cut me out after 15 years of loyalty to them. They went direct to consumer and they marketed to my clients that I had fostered...