05/09/2026
So the government finally admits aliens are real.
Pittsburgh’s response? “Yeah, no s**t. We’ve been seeing them at Primanti’s for years.”
This photo just surfaced. Roberto Clemente Bridge. Last Sunday. Golden hour.
Notice anything?
A grey alien wearing a Mean Joe Greene jersey. Holding a Terrible Towel. Half-eaten Primanti’s wrapper next to him. Looking out at the skyline like he OWNS the place.
And the best part?
Two Pittsburghers walked right past him. Didn’t even flinch. The guy in the Steelers hoodie didn’t even glance up. The woman on her phone didn’t break stride.
Because this is Pittsburgh. We don’t care WHERE you’re from.
If you wear black and gold, if you eat at Primanti’s, if you respect the Towel, you’re one of us.
He probably moved here from another galaxy for the cheap rent and a tech job at Carnegie Mellon. Now he’s gentrifying Lawrenceville with the rest of them. 🛸🖤💛
What position do you think he plays? Receiver with those long arms? 👇