04/17/2025
The Day I Said No to My Dying Dad
My Dad lost his Desk manufacturing business
and was working as a salesman for some furniture company .
I could see he felt defeated and his heart wasn’t in it.
It was my good fortune to hire my dad to bring in List rental income
from my Direct mail Travel club .He did a really bang up job .
One of the first thing he did was hire an Indian, guy named Ash ,
who was working at the Seven/Eleven store
My Dad offered him a job to be an assistant, servant , secretary and right hand man,
Ash was a totally loyal devoted man who just loved my father.
They were very happy and prosperous together.
They built up the list rental income over the course of 3 years
to bring in over $1 million per year.
One day, My dad walked into my office and asked me
if I was all packed and ready to go this weekend ?
I had made a promise to my Dad three months earlier
to take him and my family on a House boat vacation
to Rainey Lakes Minnesota on the Canadian border.
But I told him that I just couldn’t go at this time
because of some enormously Important & pressing issues
I just had to take care of.
He said “not to worry , We can always do it later. “
But I could see the disappointment in his face .
He had congestive heart failure
and his normally ruddy face would turn grey when his lungs filled up with water .
The normal Irish twinkle in eyes had lost it’s spark
I thought to myself afterwards ,
what in the world was I thinking?
Where were my priorities ?
Later may never come.
I don’ t know how long he will be around
& this is likely the last chance I will ever have
to go on vacation with him and my family.
Now 39 years later , with a gun to my head,
I couldn’t remember those seemingly important deals
that made me think I couldn’t go.
So I called him back 5 minutes later & said “screw it ! I’m going .
it was one of the best vacations I ever had.
The Passengers were my wife Moira, my Dad, my two sons corey 6, Sean 21
& my 140 pound Irish Wolfhound
Rainy Lakes has 4,000 islands around the Canadian border.
A houseboat is a really great way to vacation.
Lots of nooks and crannies ,3 bedrooms, galley- kitchen,
family room and above deck was a roof top penthouse’
with a whirlpool bath & invigorating lake breezes
blowing over very private non-populated islands .
My Dad came equipped for the wilderness
and brought a 3 month supply of canned bomb shelter food.
Each night, we would pull up to a different deserted island and camp for the night.
We would make a bonfire & barbecue fish at night ,
and in the morning -gather blueberries & make pancakes
The kids loved catching fish, but not eating them .
My Dad & wife, Moira would take turns cooking
& I would steer the ship.
But Captain John ran the houseboat up on a sand bar
and the Rangers Towed us back to safe waters.
The islands were unpopulated so we let the Irish wolfhound run wild
which we could never do in the suburbs ,
One morning , I called & called for our dog but got no answer .
So I walked into the forest and saw him playing with a new friend
- a full grown Black Bear.
The Black bear was casually sitting down and my dog was standing up next to him .
Next , they got up and wandered around in a circle
playfully swatting at each other, enjoying their new found friendship.
I whistled and finally got Faulin (Gaelic for Wolf) to come on the House boat
But the bear tried to follow him up the ramp.
We clanked some pans and scared the bear away
and then got the hell out of that island as fast as we could
When we returned the House Boat ,
I told the Park Ranger about our Irish Wolfhound and the Bear
The Ranger said Incredulously: “Sir no disrespect but I don't believe you.
Now Bears are not afraid of dogs but every dog is afraid of Bears
and as soon as the dog starts barking,
the bear would swat him with his wrist and slit open his throat .
The only way for that not to happen
is your dog would have to be absolutely fearless. “
I replied” Well the Irish Wolfhound is the largest dog there is
and he's not afraid of any other dog. They call them the Gentle Giants.
And their history is they were trained to hunt down wolves in pairs .
The bear was about the same size as my dog
They must have felt a kindred spirit
and the two fearless beasts found somebody to play with.
Which is so much more fun than trying to kill each other.”
It was Wondrous to see how much better we all got to know each other
On the Houseboat
I loved to see my Dad pair off
and talk one to one with my wife Moira ,
and each of my sons Sean & Corey .
My sons got closer together spontaneously,
and they learned to really love their grandfather
and appreciate our family.
My Dad was a kind, loving, hot tempered, forgiving ,
warm hearted story teller .
Every Christmas and Easter he would bring some orphans from Maryville
over to share the Holiday dinner with our family.
It was good for us kids to see other races and nationalities
and get to know them and enjoy them.
My Dad epitomized what Irish Charm was all about.
He was the world’s Greatest cheerleader and
always told me I could get anything I went after,
It was wonderful for my confidence and courage.
My Dad loved to take naps, sitting, standing up or laying down .
I remember, one time, we went to Mass with him
and during the sermon he departed for the land of Winkin , Blinkin & Nod. ‘
I asked him afterwards how he enjoyed the sermon & he said Wonderful !
I replied. “ Yeah, the priest was very refreshing.
Some priests wreck it with inflection, tonality and enthusiasm.
But this guy was a perfect monotone
which makes a four star Rating by your nap standards.
My wife and Dad were crazy about each other
My Dad would always tell me how lucky I was
And what a gift she was to everyone in our family
My wife, Moira, always said she felt born to our family
& never felt like an outsider.
She affectionately loved each & every one of us
& my family ferociously returned her love.
I really gained a deeper love & appreciation of my wife on the houseboat
and could see different tones & textures of her fun loving personality come out
As she interacted with each of our various family members
She said to me several times during our Houseboat vacation
“I really love your Dad! I mechanically replied ‘That’s Nice”.
She corrected me & l said ”
NO, I mean I really LOVE YOUR DAD .
He is warm and loving and so much fun to be around.
Without speaking a word- My wife Moira
Taught me a wonderful life lesson:
“Real love is not loving someone despite their flaws —
it’s loving someone because of their flaws
and finding their vulnerability endearing”
My dad died a year later in Hawaii,
on his last vacation with my mom ,sister, Darlene,
and our Aunts and Uncles .
I was in the process of concluding a loan for $1 million
to buy out my partner when I got news that my dad had died.
I had to fly to New York to pick up a check and sign the final papers.
The owner of the list management company that my dad worked with loaned me the Million dollars
He was NY Irish, like my Dad and just loved working with my DAD.
I picked up the check and headed to the airport to catch a flight back home.
I took a cab directly to the wake and saw him laying in the coffin.
I made a copy of $1 million check along with a note saying :
“Thanks dad I couldn't have done this without you and signed it
JON crossed it out -
and then signed it John ,
I kissed him and stuck the copy of the check
and the thank you note in his breast pocket
I was born John but in my rebellious quest for independence,
changed the spelling of my name to JON .
My father never acknowledged my new name .
He would always address me by my original name John .
So as a parting gift, I said OK you win.
I'll do it your way and I went back to JOHN to make him happy
He was cremated the next day with a copy of the Million Check in his breast pocket.
My life was forever changed that day in two ways,
One, I went back to my original birth name John, to please my dad
Two, I quit drinking in order to pay back the $1 million dollar loan.
John Ford
4/16/25
