Assurance jokes

16/11/2020

The person am depending on is flashing me, hope all is well

06/11/2020

When I was Young:•
I'd put my arms in my shirt 👕 and told people I lost my arms 💪
• Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose❎🚫
• Had that one pen with four colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once😔
• Waited behind a door 🚪 to scare someone, then leaving because they're taking too long to come out 🚶 .
• Faked being asleep, so I could be carried to bed🏠
• Used to think that the moon🌚followed our car🚗
• Tried to balance the switch between On/ Off💢.
• Watching two drops of rain roll down window 💦 pretending it was a race 🏁 .
• The only thing i had to take care of was a school bag 👝 .
• Swallowed a fruit seed I was scared to death that a tree 🎄 was going to grow in my tummy.
• Closed the fridge extremely slowly to see when the lights went off😜👀.
• Walked into a room,. forgot what you needed😕, Walked out,and then remember😮.
If u really went through this can u drop a"HI"😏😏😏

02/11/2020

Dating a law student be stressful...
You tell him"Baby I love you"
He will be do have any evidence to support your statement😂

02/11/2020

My neighbor wan kill person daughter for him room
Abeg check if your sister dey house😌

30/10/2020

27/10/2020

1. Nobody*🙅🏽‍♂️
Me*telling a left handed n***a to fight for his right 😅
🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

2. When the relationship is still new
U feel like paying 👰 bride price next week 😅
🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆

3. Na girls wen no ask us for urgent 2k
We go marry🤞😌💔
🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

4. I visited my bachelor Uncle, one week we soak garri, his fiance came, we cook rice😔
😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪

5. Eating Infront of your crush is not eazy. U fit forget how to swallow Eba.😖
😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

6. Please oh, at what age should parent in Nigeria stop beating their children? Because i don't understand my mum this days😔
😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

7. Somewhere out there NIGERIANS are planning to name a movie
"ENDSARS"😎
🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

8. Dem throw bomb U hide for filling station💔
sense too much for U my dear🤣🤣
🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆

9.How can someone snore😴 from 9pm to 6am, OESOPHAGUS no dey pain you?😑😑
😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

10. In DUBAI, U can UBER a helicopter🚁 instead of a taxi🚖
*
Me: am relocating to DUBAI😑😑
🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

11. Bro you always go to a girl's DM and say "can i know you more?" Something you have never said to your maker😖
😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

12. I fell down from a tree🌴 yesterday, when i was falling I heard kpraa,🙆 i thought it was my new iPhone📱 buh thank God it was my neck💆
😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

13. As a lady, you don't know how to twerk..😏
*
Plz kindly return your ASS is Not for FASHION😒😒
🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

14. Boys nd their s*x positions
Which one is do as if SARS shoot you🤣
🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆

15. Na ToTo (pussy)wen no clean na Dem dey use condom f**k😶
🚶🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

Read more. Touch this..
👇👇👇
-JOKES

27/10/2020

How to leave Nigeria with 3k

Dangote trailer 🚛from kano to Lagos is 2k

From Lagos to seme border is 500

From seme border to cotonou town is 500

But if you want to go to Europe🗽****

Kano to Jigawa is 500

Jigawa to Maradi by donkey 🎠 is 500

Maradi to Sahara by camel is 500

From Sahara to Mediterranean sea is just 1000

From Mediterranean sea to Spain by canoe is 200 via flying boat is 1000..

So the choice is yours

If you want to go to America

Drop for Lagos ask for officer Magunus...3000 via boat🚢 but na 6 months journey...

Make e no come be like sey ah no get una update

Your destiny is in your hands

peace come 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

26/10/2020

Imagine Slapping Your Boyfriend 😥 And Break His Phone 🔥 Then He Hugs You!! 😔💓❤️

26/10/2020

A mad man was standing near a Chemist shop wen Josh walked in complaining to the chemist saying,
''Doctor,my head is aching me seriously since 2 days now....."
IMMEDIATELY,the mad man entered and said '' I know how you feel''. Josh was astonished,he glanced at the chemist who was also dumbfounded and he replied to the madman saying 'explain'
The mad man said: ''Sometimes it will be as if ten men are druming on ur head?.
Josh said:Yes, that's true!! .
Mad man: And it will be as if your head want to fall down?.
Josh: Yes!! You are right.
Mad man:And you'll be seeing things double double.
Josh: Yes! Yes!!... You're correct.
Mad man: And sometimes you'll be seeing things in a different perspective?
Josh: My God!.. That's true.
Mad man: When u see fire it will turn to river and if u see dumb site it will turn to paradise in ur eyes.
Josh:Jesus!... That's absolutely correct. But how come u know all these things?
Mad man: Na so my own take start. 🙂
Josh:(faints) 😱😆

26/10/2020

She said I'm not her type but her boyfriend dey call me boss🙌🤣